“I’m not for you” has been one of my favorite phrases for about 2 years now. I used to go around explaining why I am the way I am. I used to feel like I had a point to prove when it came to my personality, but I don’t give a shit about that anymore. I’ve always been a direct person, so passive aggressiveness and the back and forth pettiness has never really been my thing. But at this point in my life, my directness is also about avoidance. I literally and figuratively do not have the damn time.
My intentions are always clear, whether I’m looking for a job, making new friends, asking a random question, or looking for a romantic partner, whatever the hell it is, I’m real with it.
It is important for me to be honest with my approach and my intentions, that is my way of practicing discernment. So, if you can’t be direct or if you have a hard time putting away your pettiness, at least, at the very fucking least…be real with me. Tell me what you do or don’t want so I can decide if you’re worth my time. Unfortunately, that’s not a common practice, so I’m often left with the mundane task of analyzing people’s “good intentions” to determine if I even want to be bothered with their ass, and by the time I finish all that I realize, baby I’m not for you! Here’s why…
I do not do well with uncertainty, indecisiveness, passive-aggressiveness, or anything to that affect. If you have trouble aligning yourself with your truth, and vocalizing that in an effective manner, I am not for you.
From the ages of 14-21 I felt the need to constantly argue about how nice I am, and how misunderstood I was, not anymore. I am what I am; I don’t care about changing or appeasing to people. It’s easier for me to be real with you, and tell you straight up, mane, I am not for you. I don’t care about being nice or mean. I don’t have the time to argue about perspective or perception. That bores me, and it’s a waste of time. I know I’m not for you and I know you’re not for me. Let’s leave it at that. I would never willingly waste my time or anyone else’s for that matter. I have great friends and a loving family; it is no shit off my boot if I know I’m not for somebody. I let it be known, wish them well, and take my ass on, like I said, I don’t have the time.
Now, this is not to say that people haven’t told me that they’re not for me, because that would be narcissistic of me. I have definitely been in several situations where a person has told me (in so many words), “I’m not for you” and guess what? I was receptive and left it the fuck alone. How could I not respect someone who is self-aware, obviously paying attention to the vibes, and understands that everybody isn’t for them? Listen, if you tell me I’m not for you, I will receive that shit, thank you for the honesty, and move the fuck on.
So, I guess if you think people should put up with you, when they so clearly do not fucking want to, then I guess it’s easy to be offended, but that’s a you problem. If someone tells you that they are not for you, believe them, thank them, and move on.
I was once afraid of people saying, “who does she think she is?” Now I have the courage to stand and say, “This is who I am – Oprah Winfrey
…& who I am, is more than likely not for you lil baby.