I have a friend who finds the word “masturbation” vulgar and she opts for the word self-exploration, I think it’s a cute way to approach the subject, but it’s way too general for me. I think masturbation should literally be at the top of your list for self-care. Moisturize those hands, clean those sex toys, and give yourself the orgasm you deserve! Unlike most, I was late to the masturbation game, the thought of it makes me sad, but I’m proud to say that I have definitely made up for lost time. This is my list of the most important aspects of masturbation, self-exploration, and the best way to practice real self-care.
Use a Sex Toy
I am not a “finger” kinda girl, I prefer sex toys like dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, or a combination of the three. Everything isn’t for everybody, but if you’re really trying to go there, I would advise you to at least incorporate sex toys in your masturbation routine, your fingers can only do so much.
Get That Thang Wet
You should never opt for dry sex, whether you’re masturbating, having oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, whatever it is, GET. THAT. THANG. WET. Whatever turns you on, do it, allow yourself the ability to get aroused not only to get wet but so you your vagina can expand. If you suffer from health conditions that prevent your vagina from self-lubricating, I would advise you to invest in some lube.
Set the Moodt
You gotta be feeling yaself foreal foreal, and that can come from anything, candles, music, erotic books, porn, whatever it is that gets you *there. Setting the mood can be tricky though depending on what your goal is and how much time you have, so I would be mindful of that, which leads me to my next point, the most important point honestly.
Focus on the C-Spot & the G-Spot
Ok, so my initial reason for masturbating was to make myself cum, which I did, but it was definitely some trial and error. Now that I have been at it for a while, I have found the best way to please myself, which has helped me direct men during intercourse as well. There is an argument about whether or not the C-spot or G-spot exist, but I’m no expert, so y’all will have to settle for my raggedy ass opinion. Allow me to briefly explain.
You can have an orgasm from clitoris stimulation, vaginal penetration, or both at the same time.
You can stimulate the clitoris either with your finger(s) (as pictured below) or you can use a vibrator, which will give you a more intense stimulation resulting in a more intense orgasm. I wouldn’t go straight to the clit and start mixing and scratching like you’re a damn DJ though. Warm yourself up a bit first, get the lube out and get yourself wet, massage your vulva, do something, anything really, before you start rubbing on the clit sis. I’m thinking only of your pleasure here.
You can also hit that G-spot through vaginal penetration. However, when you’re masturbating it can be a little different because you are in control and you can figure out where your G-Spot is or how to make yourself cum through vaginal penetration. The first time I masturbated I didn’t do any kind of clitoral stimulation I made myself cum though vaginal penetration only. I took it slow and realized the best technique (for me) was deep penetration, circular movements, and different angles/positions. I don’t know for sure where the G-spot is located, or if its even exists, but regardless orgasm via penetration is real. If you have yet to experience an orgasm through penetration with your partner, consider masturbating and getting yourself there first. You may have better luck vocalizing your needs with your partner.
Now let’s talk about the best of both fucking worlds, shall we? So when you want to really go there, you can stimulate both the G-spot and the C-spot at the same time. In the picture below it’s a demo of what to do with your hands, but as I stated before, vibrators will make it more intense. If you wanna take it an extra step, get the butt plugs out. I want to point one thing out, and that’s the angle. I would not advise any woman to directly insert her fingers straight into her vagina, angle ya wrist a bit sis. Make sure you test out different angles and positions whether you’re using your fingers or a dildo. The stimulation is definitely different based on the angle and the position, just like when you’re having sex with your partner. Keep that in mind. Also, the only time I have ever experienced back to back orgasms was through vaginal penetration and clitoris stimulation at the same time. I also know for a fact that if I or my partner use this method, it will make me squirt, so like I said, this is really the best of both worlds. It’s worth it.
Have Fun Sis!
At the end of the day, masturbation is all about the best way you please YOU. Whatever you choose to do is really nobody’s business but yours, but take advantage of trying new things with yourself and being creative. You may find intercourse with your partner more enjoyable, but if you take nothing else away from masturbating, then at least you will have a little more knowledge about your body, specifically your vagina. Take this time to get to know your body and what you like and dislike. As a woman there’s nothing more important than that, everything else is secondary.
Gimme your tips on masturbating. I’m trying to get on some new shit!