There’s a conversation to be had about what it is to truly be…
It’s a cute hashtag, it’s cute on a shirt, a coffee mug, or if you’re anything like me…a shot glass, but let’s be real. A majority of the unbothered, are bothered as fuck. I get it, I too was once apart of the fake unbothered club but then my therapist told me something that forced me to gather my own self for filth.
She said that I had the strength and the willpower to get myself to a place of contentment without having to fake it.
She was right.
I chose to be quiet about a lot of my storms until after I weathered them. It was my way of practicing self care, by going through the thick of it without talking about it. That’s how I deal with shit, and by being honest about it I was able to grow as a person and sharpen my personality and character so that it was reflective of the person I was growing to be.
I’m not done growing, but the person I am is not easily moved by bullshit. It took a lot for me to get to this place and I have no interest in being apologetic, humble, or modest about it.
You cannot bother the unbothered.
After the shit that I’ve been through, I can honestly say that there’s nobody dead or alive that could shake me or invalidate who I am as a person or what I have to offer. It’s just not possible. I don’t shy away from critique or criticism because I am secure enough in myself and my personal power. I can take in what needs to be taken in and discard the rest, without missing a beat because I did the fucking
W O R K.
You not finna move me.
I don’t walk this earth trying to prove myself or my abilities to anyone, people are either gonna see it or they aren’t, neither of which really have anything to do with me. I am aware that as a black woman, I am pretty much damned if I do and damned if I don’t. So, the way that I see it, I might as well be honest.
It really is that simple.
I don’t subscribe to the idea that I am better than or worse than anyone else. I’m just me. My power, my character, my personality, my growth, none of it is based on empty titles or fake constructs. I’m just Kristine, and that’s enough for me, hell sometimes it’s too much, I can be a handful at times. But you know what…that’s me.
I have noticed that a lot of the #TeamUnbothered crew feel the need to make themselves superior to prove how truly unbothered they are…that’s cute if that works for you, but I’m just not on that wave.
You’re unbothered because…
“Lions don’t worry themselves about the opinion of sheep”
“Queens don’t let their crowns slip”
I’m unbothered because I’m aware of my personal power. That’s it. We are not the same. That’s neither good nor bad, it’s just the facts.
If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. – Audre Lorde
I’m just out here being myself doing what I need to do to make it in this world and that means a lot of different things on any given day. The one constant, is that I am aware of who I am and what I am. Allowing people to move me before I’m ready to be moved would be a clear indicator that I have a lot of work to do, a lot of soul-searching, a lot of introspection to understand who the fuck I am, and there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just beyond that phase of my life.
To me, being unbothered isn’t about appearance or ego it’s about being honest with yourself about how you feel and why. It’s about personal growth, character development, and recognizing who the fuck you are.
I can acknowledge that somethings make me sad, happy, angry, lonely, and confused and still remain unbothered. You know why?
Because that’s life. Situations are going to test you, people are going to critique you, life will never be a cake-walk, that’s why it’s imperative that you make sure you are aligned with your personal mission no matter what. I have found that is the key to truly being #Unbothered.
You have to be honest about who you are, what you’re capable of, and what power you hold, because if you don’t everybody that has something to say will have you shook to your core. That’s no way to go through life.
I don’t consider myself cutthroat, savage, or heartless, but I’m honest and for me that is plenty. By remaining honest about who I am and what I have to offer it’s hard for anything to disrupt my aura without my explicit consent. Therefore, calling myself unbothered is not just some catch phrase for me.
It’s a way of life.